The Easter Pageant & The Easter Bunny Came

Once a year, around Easter time, our church puts on a huge theatrical production of the story of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection called The Mesa Easter Pageant. This was my first time to see this and I must say that I was very, very impressed. I knew it was going to be good since most of the things our church puts out is of very good quality but knowing that all the actors and dancers are volunteers, I wasn't quite expecting to see what I saw. Those people were amazing! So talented! What is even more impressive is the amount of hours they must have put in practicing and performing every night for 2 plus weeks for free!

Ethan and I went with the Smiths while daddy (who had strep throat) stayed home with Ellie and put her to bed for me.

Ethan (trying to deal with the flash) and Jordan. I didn't realize that he had a bean burrito mustache until after the picture. I think it adds character...

Caryn, Chanda and her fiance Nate before the show began.

The dance of the 10 virgins...

The end of the show

It was so fun to have Ethan sit on my lap while I explained what was happening throughout the show in 3 year old terms. It amazes me how much he understands and what he can remember. I know this might sound bad but it was so nice to not have sweet Ellie there. I was able to focus on spending some quality time with my little buddy instead of chasing her around or standing at the back of the crowd trying to silence her yells of frustration :) I love her but I loved that I got to attend this special event and enjoy some cherished time with Ethan. I highly recommend going to see this next year if you are in the area!

The Easter Bunny definitely came to our house this year! Thanks Grandma Sims! I just used all the candy and presents she sent to us in our Easter package to fill the eggs and baskets. I love that they are so little and have no idea that I used the same candy. I'll keep holidays cheap for as long as I can :) They went around the house looking for Easter eggs and found all of them, with a little help from us of course. They were simply delighted to eat all the candy that I would let them eat that morning.

And here are my incredibly photogenic children with their loot...

Ethan is still trying to figure out what to do with that darn flash. :) All 7 pictures of him turned out exactly like this one. Love that kid!

A Hodgepodge of Different Things

There have been quite a few activities that we have done in the past few months that I have yet to post about! We have been trying to get outdoors as much as we can until the heat of the summer comes and we go into hibernation mode for a few months. But anyway, here goes my hodgepodge of an update!

On Field Trips

A few weeks ago, Ethan's preschool took a field trip to the farm and this was sadly that only picture that I took. Turns out, it is a lot harder to play photographer when I'm chasing busy little Ellie around! This girl is fearless I tell you. She also LOVES animals! It is so cute to see her laugh and get all giddy when a puppy or another animal passes by us.

On My Love For Hair

I am doing my sis-in-laws hair for her wedding in a few weeks and my friend let me borrow her beauty school mannequin to practice on. I am doing both an up and down-do for her wedding/reception and I am SO excited! I love playing around with hair!

On After Church Exhaustion

This is how sweet Ellie looks after church on Sunday...

Delirious and oh so cute :) She is usually asleep in the car before we even pull out of the church parking lot. I do put headbands on her by the way, but they never make it past sacrament meeting :)

This is how Ethan looks after church on Sunday....

Hyper, out of control, and running on fumes!

On Trampolines and Grandmas

We love to jump on the tramp when we go over to grandma's house. This time Ethan had a special treat to have daddy there to jump with him!

I just love this next picture of Ellie. She is just waving "Hi!"

Ellie and Uncle Barrett...

Ethan thinks he is so funny when he does this face for the camera. This kid is just funny all the time!

On Airports

Some days we like to go over to the airport, that is only about 15 min away from where we live, and watch the airplanes take off while we have a picnic for lunch. Ethan loves it! We haven't been lucky enough to see a jet take off yet but Ethan reminds us everytime that "we would have to cover our ears because the jet is so SO loud and there would be fire and smoke coming out of the hole in the back!" He is prepared and ready for it!

Ellie doesn't really care about the airplanes so much and prefers to just beg for her/my food the whole time...

Watching an airplane take off!

The kids had a blast making noise with their water bottles and the metal bench seats in the picnic area. I'm sure the people around there think it's really cute too. Especially when it echos under the pavilion :) Who could make these two happy kids stop though?! Not I.

On Ethan's Awesome and Somewhat Creepy Drawings

Ethan is really into drawing now a days. Our fridge is adorned with is drawings. He loves to draw ghosts, goblins, werewolves, spiders, and pretty much anything scary. He checks out Halloween books at the library and draws the pictures he is looking at. He then loves to make a book out of it and we read it for story times. I wish he would have chosen something a little less creepy to love to draw but I think it's awesome that he is so excited about drawing!

This is his cyclops...

And his witch.... Not too bad, right?!

On Easter

Last weekend we went to the annual easter egg hunt that the city holds at a park just right down the road. Ellie was having so much fun picking up all the candy and eggs on the ground and putting them in her basket. One of her favorite things to do at home is to find a bucket or tupperware, or whatever, and put objects she finds inside of it. So she caught on to the whole egg in a basket thing pretty quickly! The older kids there adored her and would give her some of their own easter eggs too. It was so cute!

My mom sends the kids an Easter package every year and finds them the cutest little baskets! Thanks mom!

On Other Random Things That I Have No Pictures For

• I am starting to see signs of Ethan's readiness to read and it is so fun to watch his little brain work! One of our favorite things to do while eating lunch is for him to think of a word, sound it out and then tell me what letter the word starts with. He just started doing this on his own one day and I have tried to help him with it since. It's fun!
• Ellie is finally starting to talk/babble! She calls everybody and everything "mama" and daddy taught her that a banana is "nana" and now any kind of food is "nana."She knows what an elephant and a monkey says and it is SO cute to hear her make those little noises.
• Last weekend I was all signed up, payed my money, and was absolutely stoked to finally be certified to teach TurboKick, but had to cancel my spot the day of when all the miscarriage stuff starting happening the night before. I was devastated! I had been waiting for 3 years to become certified! These certifications only happen twice a year here in AZ, so now I am trying to find a way to become certified asap even if that means making a trip to Cali :) Until then- punch, cross, hook, upper!
• On the post miscarriage stuff- the d&c went great. Super easy. No pain, no cramping, it went as well as it could have. The doctor said that he was really glad that I had one and that I probably would not have been able to pass all that was in there. I feel completely back to normal. Just this morning Justin said, "You know what women really need? Instead of all those What to Expect When Expecting books, they really need to write a What to Expect When You Are No Longer Expecting book to really tell people what to expect after miscarriage." I laughed. It's true though, right? I'm sure I could help co-author some of that book. Ha!
• Justin leaves for an almost 2 weeks work trip to Spain, Morocco and the Canary Islands. I wish I was going with him. I feel like I need a vacation! Especially to those places! But no worries, I'll find lots of activities to entertain us while he is away.
• Once Justin comes back we are heading to the great state of Texas for a week for my brothers wedding. That will kick off our busy and fun filled summer that is awaiting us! We are excited!

Thanks for sticking this post through! I'm all caught up!

What's Done Is Done..

*If any of you are male readers, this is your warning that this post may contain lots of stuff that you won't care to hear. Sorry! You have been warned!

At about 3am Monday morning I woke up with some severe cramping and some major bleeding and a huge loss of blood clots. It pretty much continued until about 6am. I had a feeling that the sack had ruptured completely but I was still hoping that the sac had just lost the blood and the baby was still fine. I called the doctor that morning to make an appt since they said to if any bleeding had occurred like that. So that afternoon I went into my ultrasound appt and there was no more baby that they could see. I had miscarried. Again.

Apparently the sac ruptured and took the baby and everything with it. They couldn't tell what all was in the uterus since there was so much blood but they could definitely tell that there wasn't a full baby in there. I cried and cried right there in the ultrasound room. I was all by myself and the ultrasound tec (we have become good friends through all this miscarriage stuff) just hugged me and told me that she was so sorry and something about how it just isn't fair. I was so grateful for her kindness. They had me wait to see the doctor and I held my composure pretty well while talking to the doctor and asked him lots of questions. He was SO great to take the time to talk me through it all and I could tell that he really did feel for me. Because there is so much stuff still in the uterus he scheduled me for a D&C for tomorrow morning. Although I'm bummed we have to pay a whole lot of money for no baby, I'm glad I can get all this over with quick and relatively painless and move on to what awaits us next.

So what does await us? Well, hopefully in the future more children but for now I need a little break. As I mentioned before, this pregnancy was a difficult one. I was sick most of the time and couldn't eat very much and I just don't feel like jumping right back into that right now. I can tell that my body just needs a rest for a while too. I don't feel like I need to go through any testing right now, this was just something that my body did and we couldn't/can't prevent it .We know that I have a progesterone deficiency during the luteal phase so that is why I take progesterone supplements for that but I think my hormones might need to be checked out and I am going to go to an essential oils doctor here in the valley to help me regulate them naturally. We'll see if it works!

If you are wondering how I'm feeling I'm not going to lie, it is hard. It has been quite the roller coaster of emotions the past few days. I know that this is one of my trials that I have to go through in this life and I'm ok with that. There are so many more worse things that we could go through. I am just grateful that so far we have been SO blessed to keep those babies that are born to us and I thank Heavenly Father everyday for those two sweet little munchkins. It is still hard though when I picture that sweet little baby moving around in the ultrasound and I hear her rapid little heartbeat in my head to not cry and think of what could have been. I loved that little baby and I hope she doesn't change her mind next time and will want to stick around and meet us.

I'm grateful for prayer. I have felt peace and comfort throughout all this and I'm so grateful for those feelings of "It's going to ok. This is part of your plan." I know that we will have all the little children that we are supposed to have someday and I'm ok knowing that it is all in His hands. Although I am sometimes sad, when I think about it too much, I am for the most part happy and am moving on with life and am looking forward to a fun filled summer with vacations, weddings and family!

Friends and family have been so kind to us. My sweet mother-in-law sent me these gorgeous flowers today...

with a sweet note that simply said, "To a wonderful mother." It meant the world to me.

And my sweet, thoughtful husband came home from work yesterday when I found out I had miscarried with this little stash...

He knows my favorites and he happily accompanied me in vegging out last night :)

But from the bottom of my heart, thank you all for your kind words of comfort, your sweet little notes and gifts at my door, for your offers to help out when needed, for your support and friendship, and for your prayers and thoughts. I can't thank you enough and it brings me to tears to think that there are so many people who actually care about us! Again, thank you. Thank you all!

I would love to share with you guys a quote from Thomas S. Monson that I found today during my scripture study...

"We are here on this earth to deal with our individual challenges to the best of our ability; to learn from them, and to overcome them. Endure to the end we must, for our goal is eternal life in the presence of our Father in Heaven. He loves us and wants nothing more than for us to succeed in this goal. He will help us and bless us as we call upon Him in our prayers, as we study His words, and as we obey His commandments. Therein is found safety; therein is found peace."

- Thomas S Monson. Closing Remarks at the October 2010 General Conference

How perfect is that? I wasn't even looking for it, but I definitely needed it :)

Thanks for reading. Come back soon for a post on what these cute kiddos are up to!

Update

First of all, thank you so much for all of your sweet comments. It's so nice to have support from so many great friends.

Ok, this is pretty crazy. Are you ready?

I went to the doctor this morning and had an ultrasound right away. She looked around for a little bit and then we saw a baby in there. I was thinking for sure I would have to have a D&C since the whole enchilada was still in there but then she brought up a strong heartbeat. I was completely in shock. I said, "What? The baby is alive?" and then I broke down in tears. I was still confused about the whole thing and wasn't quite sure what was going on with my body. After the ultrasound I met with my doctor and it turns out that I have what is called a Subchorionic Hemmorage. Basically I have the baby in its embryonic sac, the placenta to the left of it and then on the right side of the sac I have this pretty big sac of blood. It looks like a big half moon wrapping itself around the embryonic sac. Apparently, my body is trying to get rid of the blood somehow and that is what caused the massive amount of bleeding and severe cramping that I was experiencing. The symptoms are exactly like having a miscarriage which is why I thought I was having one. The cramping this time around was much more severe than with any of my previous miscarriages though.

Anyway, pretty crazy right? I went into the doctors office ready to talk to him about doing some testing and maybe taking a break from trying to get pregnant again for awhile until we figured everything out and I came out with the news that we have a live baby inside of me! It still seems surreal.

I am on pelvic rest and have to go in for ultrasounds every 2 weeks or so to monitor the sac and make sure that it isn't growing, which could cause a miscarriage, but those things aren't very hard to do! I'm sorry that I was a little premature with announcing another miscarriage but I've been through them before and I was positive that I was having another one. Now I know that heavy bleeding and cramping doesn't always mean that. Thank you again for your love, support, and prayers. We still aren't out of the woods on this one though and we will keep praying that this little baby can keep that strong little heartbeat!

I Should Really Stop Counting...

Well folks, I've had another miscarriage. Well actually, I haven't lost it completely yet, I just started miscarrying late this evening. I don't have much more to add to what I've already posted about with my previous miscarriages. I still feel the same way. This makes #4 and I should really stop counting. It's getting pretty depressing.

I was 11 weeks along with this one and was sick the whole pregnancy. This was not expected :( In fact, we had already told family and a few friends since everything was looking great this time around. I'll go to the doctor first thing tomorrow morning and get an ultrasound. I have a feeling I 'll have to get a D&C this time since I am farther along than the others. I've been super lucky with the past ones.

I'll write more tomorrow after the doctors when I know a little bit more. All I know right now is that I am in a lot of pain and I really wish my husband wasn't in Ecuador and could come home and cuddle with me as I cry and tell me I am beautiful. At least I have two beautiful kids who are helping me to stay strong and will lather me with kisses when they wake up in the morning :)

Good Advice

I found this in some of my supplemental reading material for my personal scripture study and it was just what I needed to hear!

In 1965 President David O McKay spoke to members of the new building committee of the LDS church regarding priorities. President McKay warned them that their new assignment would stretch them to their limits of their time and effort. He told them to not sacrifice the important things for the least important. He then assured them that they would one day have a personal interview with the Savior and then he proceeded to tell them the order for which Jesus Christ would ask for an accounting of their earthly responsibilities:

First, the Savior will request an accountability report about your relationship with your spouse;

Second, He will want a report about your relationship with each of your children;

Third, He will want to know what you have personally done with the talents you were given in the premortal existence;

Fourth, He will not be interested in what assignments you have had in the Church, but how you served and fulfilled your stewardships;

Fifth, He will have little interest in how you earned your living, but if you were honest in all your dealings;

Sixth, He will ask for an accounting of what you have done to contribute in a positive manner to your community, state, country, and the world.

I love this. I need to frame this somewhere in my house so I can always remember it and constantly work towards being able to confidently answer these questions when that time comes. It does seem that I have some work to do though :)

Our Musical Conductor

Our Ethan loves music! About a week ago, we were listening to some classical music and all by himself, he took the end of his tee-ball stand, propped it up and then grabbed some paper and starting conducting to the music. His papers kept falling down and he was getting frustrated so I grabbed a music stand that we have downstairs for ward choir (which is held at our home) and let Ethan have something "professional" to work with!

Here is a video of him conducting Beethoven's 5th. I don't think he was blessed with rhythm but I do love the "stick the landing" gymnast poses throughout :)

Bummer... I guess the video size is too big and it won't upload. Just know that he had some amazing conductor moves!

He also wrote his own music as well....

I know it is hard to see but those are two music notes at the top. Pretty impressive considering I have never taught him that! He must have learned from looking at piano music.

He even busted out the chair for the full-effect!

One thing we have always noticed about Ethan is just how well he can hit pitches. If you sing something to him, he can pretty much sing it right back to you with almost perfect pitch, if he knows the words of the song. Pretty good for a 3 year old! We are putting him into a program called Let's Play Music next year and I really think he will excel!

Oh and just for kicks, this next picture is to document that our little girl does in fact have hair!

Not very much but it is there! Her hair looks darker in the picture but it is coming in super blonde so that is why most people think she has zero hair. She is walking so good and most people that see her say, "Oh my! She is quite the walker for her age!" I usually reply by saying something like "Well, not really. She is almost 13 months old. I think it's normal." They can never believe that she is 1 and they usually put her at 6 months or so (even though she is bigger for her age) just because her hair isn't very visible... I think it's pretty funny:)

Oh and have I mentioned before how much she loves to read books??

She can usually be found either vacuuming our floor with her mouth or reading books. I like to see her do the latter more though :)

Pictures of The Kids

I took the kids to JCPenney's last week and had their pictures taken. I just love Penneys. We usually always get good pictures and spend $40 or so for lots of pictures!

Ethan did awesome for the pictures but Ellie was determined to not cooperate and proceeded to cry and throw fits the whole time. She is quite the independent little girl. She wanted to do what she wanted to do (run around and destroy things) and was not about to have me tell her what to do! We had like the whole Penney's staff in there trying to make her laugh, blocking the door from her and trying desperately to take her attention off leaving.

Despite the drama, I thought the pictures turned out pretty well!

This one is my favorite of her...

My mom has been begging me to get these pictures taken of Ellie in the 3 generation dress. Here you go mom, and did you notice that I don't have a headband on her? (My mom doesn't like headbands on her, but I think she looks SO much cuter with them on!)

You can really tell that she had been crying hard core in these pictures.

Here is a comparison picture. This was me at 8.5 months old. She is looking more and more like her daddy's baby pictures than mine.

But even with the big alligator tears, she is still a cutie :)

Again, Ethan did awesome! I love these pictures of my handsome little guy!

And here are the pictures of them together....

I think this pic is hilarious! It looks like it belongs in like the early 1900s or something with no smiles. And the duck is just funny.





I can't believe how tall Ethan has grown in the past year!

And this picture pretty much sums up how the kids felt by the end of the photo shoot. They were DONE!