We started Monday of putting him in only big boy underwear and setting a timer to make him sit on the potty every 20 min or so. He only had one accident that day but sometimes it was a full out brawl to try to get him to sit on the potty. He did it though and would go even amongst the tears and tantrums. We stayed in the house the whole entire day... He also receives 1 small marshmallow after he goes #1 ( I would rather stickers but they dont have them here in MX) and 3 small marshmallows after he goes #2. Oh and he also stays in a diaper during naptime and nightime. I dont trust him that much yet :)
Day 2&3: Also stayed inside the house (we are both going crazy) and he only had one accident. His accidents seem to happen when he is watching a movie. I guess he is too into the movie to do anything about it. Again, there was weeping and wailing a few times to get him to sit on the potty but he did and would go. We did the timer every 25 min. He never tells me when he has to go though. I force him to go and sit down when the timer goes off.
So far Day 4: He has cried every time I have put him on the potty, he yells "All Done!" as soon as I put him on and he pooped in his undies. He of course told me "Mommy, Potty" after he had already done the dirty deed in his pants though.
So, I'm not quite sure what to do. Does he sound ready yet? Or is he pretty normal? I feel like it is so time consuming and is SO much effort! Is that just how it is? Should I wait a few months and try again? Maybe after the baby comes? I wanted to get him potty trained before the baby comes to save on diapers but Im willing to wait if it will be much smoother later on. In April he will be 2 and 3/4 and I hear that is a good time to start with the boys. What do you guys think?
Any advice you have for me would be VERY much appreciated! I'm at a loss as to what to do and I don't have any mom's here in MX to help me out! Thanks!
Here is a picture of our little buddy. He sure is a cute kid though even if he doesn't want to use the potty!
12 comments:
I would say that it TOTALLY depends on HIM. What I mean is: My girls from age like 2 didn't have wet diapers in the night - (unless I let them play in their bed for too long or whatever) So nights were never a problem. - Also 25 min was TOOO soon for my girls. In fact every hour was even too often for my girls and it made them mad putting them on the pot that often. I would go by his diapers, you kinda know i he has lots of little ones - or "holds it in" for more like every 1 1/2 like my girls liked.
I have also heard that once you put on undies you should NEVER put on diapers - There is a week of cleaning up accidents, but after that (if he is readY) you should be pretty ok - with my experience. He is a little young for a boy - but I wouldn't say that you have to give up yet. Some boys to train earlier. I pushed to potty train Mia before the baby came - but she was only 19 months. But she was easily potty trained by 2 - but that was Mia. Kaylee was practically 3.
Personally, I say if you are "stuck" to a house for a week anyways, it is worth a try - but you have to try for reals for a week. And i wouldn't put a diaper on for naps. messes with the phyiceee SP? Instead, put a thick blanket or two under him so that it doesn't soak through the bed and those can easily be thrown in the wash.
That's my two sense. But seriously my girls would hold it. I know cause one minute their diapers were dry - then they were soaking wet :) But when Kaylee was being potty trained she had lots of little tinkles - now we are back to normal
i have also heard of potty parties where you just sit home for a day and make him drink tons and tons and tons of pop, watch movies all day and potty train.
my hubby tried buying a gold fish, putting it in the toilet and telling my girls they had to "feed" it everyday (with their pee) it worked for a friend - not for kaylee though. But the first time I tried with her she wasn't ready and I wasn't ready (to stay home for a week :) LOL.
I'm not quite so sure on the age for boys. However, my experience is that the older they are the smarter they are and the more rebellious they are to go. Boys really don't like to stop what they are doing themselves just to have to go to the bathroom. It doesn't matter what age. Luke has been potty trained twice now and both times it was a little rough. Like the crying bloody murder when I made him go on the pot. BUT I noticed that 20 min was WAAAYYY too soon for him too and he started to HATE the toilet for that reason. But when I would "trust" him and let him hold out for longer, like closer to 1 hr and a 1/2 then his tantrums became very very mild. So I recommend NOT going every often. Yes, you will have to clean up more accidents but remember those accidents help him realize what happens if he doesn't hold it until he goes in the toilet. He really needs to have more accidents to eventually get better. Understand?
Also, now that Lukas is older he knows that if he pees in a pullup/diaper then it won't make a mess. Soooo he would sometimes just hold it until he got a pullup on for nap and then go a ton. And it was just getting harder and harder to get it off of him after nap and into real undies. So I decided to just leave him in underwear for nap time. It took a couple days to realize he needed to hold it during nap time too but it was WAY doable.
Ok so I think you are doing GREAT. Just try to span out the time in between making him go sit on the pot to "try". And when he gets a little better then you will just notice a little potty dance for when he needs to go and then he can just go then. Realize that he will probably not tell you he has to go for a really long time. Boys are just like that. My friend's boy just turned 5 and he still has accidents and refuses to tell her when he needs to go. He'll only go when she makes him go every so often (just not too often) and he doesn't really throw a fit about it. Realize that he will have accidents for a long time. It won't be as often as it is right now but having one accident a day is FABULOUS!!!! Some weeks Luke will go the entire week without any accidents and then have 3 days of POOPING in his pants! SAY WHAT?! Its normal. And YES it is hard for us moms to have to get used too. GOOD LUCK!
Michael Dunn did the same thing Ethan is doing. He wasn't as ready as I thought he was-I started about 8 months ago and we are still working on it. I must say though Once His daddy got involved MD has started going to the bathroom MUCH better and much more ofter. Also MD only has to go to the potty ever hour or so-20 minuted was way too often for him when I was trying it months ago. I am not very good at potty training myself so if you figure something out that works I would love to know :)
I say wait until he is ready or you will be potty training forever. We only started bc Bella started telling us and we hadn't even started at the time. But, she is a girl and I hear girls are way easier and to just wait with boys until they are ready and start showing interest. My friend tried starting with her boy and he would do ok, but nothing consistent and the doctor said with boys you just have to wait and it may be until they are 3 1/2 until they are trained. But it will be so much harder on you and you will be doing it forever if he isn't ready. I only read the first comment, but I agree and if you decide to put him in undies, don't go back and forth w/diapers except for nap and bedtime. When I trained Bella we had her wear nothing and stayed home all week. I would just watch her like a hawk all day and ask her about every hour. 20 minutes is probably way too much. She would go like 2 hours w/o even going pee. And when she would start to pee, I would hurry and pick her up and run her to the bathroom. Even if she had already gone, I would have her sit on the potty. That way they know they are suppose to go to the potty to go. Oh and with Bella, she was completely trained for about 3 months, but then Gaines came and I was at the hospital for 2 days. She refused to go for anyone else but me so my mom who was watching her had to put her in diapers. So you may want to just wait until after your baby comes anyway bc of the change that is about to happen. But it sounds to me that if he is kicking and screaming everytime you take him, he isn't ready. Good luck! Potty training is I think the worst thing about raising kids so far, haha. Oh the joys of motherhood :) I wish I could snap my fingers and they are trained!
Well, I've only ever trained a girl and I hear boys are a little harder and take a little longer, but I would suggest waiting for him to queue you, rather than you dictating to him when he should go, and let him have some accidents. I know it's gross, but generally, they don't like the feeling of wet or dirty underwear and they start to make the connection pretty quickly that if they go to the bathroom before, they don't have to have gross underwear. Potty training is basically retraining a child to recognize the feeling of needing to use the bathroom. Disposable diapers are so good at wicking away the wetness that kids stop noticing when they need to go, even though they are born with that instinct at birth. Some kids never quite lose that instinct and some of them pick up on it again on their own, but often you have to start making them aware of it. That's why letting them have accidents is a good way for them to start thinking about what that sensation is. I am also, personally, a believer in not giving them a treat when they do it correctly, or punishing them when they don't (at least when they are still in the training phase). I read somewhere that you should treat it like it's a normal part of life, because it is. It's like eating or sleeping. We don't give our children big rewards for doing that. We would tell Adie good job when she did use the bathroom and when she had an accident we'd discuss calmly what she should do next time she feels that way, but it was never an earning thing. We set it up as an expectation that she was old enough to use the toilet and so that's what she was going to do.
It sounds like he may not be ready quite yet, but it's hard to tell after only a few days. I would suggest though, possibly waiting until after the baby is born because Adie had been trained for 6 months before Chase was born and she still regressed and she had quite a few accidents for a while after the fact. It was pretty easy to get her back on track, but it just might be something you'd rather deal with post-pregnancy.
Finally (don't you love how long responses are when you ask for parenting advice), I have heard that boys like to do "target practice" by throwing some cheerios in toilet and teaching them to aim. Maybe something game-like like that would work. Good luck! It's definitely not the most fun part about being a mom, but once you get past this hurdle it's waaayyyy better than diapers!
Our Ethan had a week of training and he pretty much held it all the time. We were also off with our timing to have him sit on the potty, so after he'd get off he'd have wet pants 5 minutes later.
We thought that if we woke him up one morning and had him do it first thing that he would get it because of course he has to go in the morning. We woke him up and told him what we wanted him to do, but he just started crying and trying to pull his pants back up. He kept crying, "I need my diaper, I need my diaper". We decided not to fight it and give him some more time.
He does know that when he goes pee and poop he can get some stickers and when he gets five stickers for each he can earn his paints (it's just a little set of water color paints...you know the set of like 20 colors.) It's not a huge reward, but he knows he gets it when he goes potty. It was nice to take the fight away, but frustrating to "give up". We'll see what happens. We told him this was the last box of diapers we were going to buy. Who knows?!
My only small perspective is what worked with Brock. I had to be totally consistant. That meant I ahd to NEVER put him in diapers or pull-ups - even at naps and bedtime. He needed to "feel" that he waas going potty when he was sleeping, I had to do a lot of clean-up, but it was only a few times and then he got it. Cost of doing business I guess. Also, we had the same problem with him not wanting to sit on the potty. I kept at it for a few days, making him/bribing him to do it. After about a week of that I tried to trust him. I just asked him about every hour or so if he wanted to sit on the potty. We had an accident here and there, but after a few days he was totally potty trained.
I would say don't give up, it sounds like he is for the most part ready. I agree with Kristina to not put diapers on him. With Naomi, we made a big deal about "throwing away" the diapers since she was a big girl. I only fake threw away one diaper because I wanted to save them for the next baby. I would say load him up on juice and water and bring all the toys near the bathroom.
One thing a friend told me that worked for her is to every other second remind them to tell you when they need to go to the bathroom because if you ask them if they need to go they will usually say no, but if you say "don't forget to tell me you need to go potty" every other second it puts the responsibility on them.
Good luck! It will get better.
Let me know how it goes. Adalie sure wasn't ready when we tried the first time....I think it was October? And I am too tired to even try now with baby getting so close so Koodos to you!! Good luck though and sorry I don't have much advice to give, just luck!
Get the book "How to potty train in less than a day" It worked for me. Don't listen to the part where it tells you to make them "practice" 10 times when they have an accident. I think 2 or 3 times is good or they may start hating it. My daughter is potty trained and in panties during the day and for nap, but has NEVER been dry in the morning, so wears pullups at night. She also had a lot of accidents the 1st month of potty training and was having little accidents occassionally for 6 months. The book recommends you train them between 18 and 28 months. Past that they are harder to work with. This book makes it kinda fun too. I'd only take him like every hour or two and like 20 or 30 minutes after meals or after they've dranken something. Lots of juice, chocolate milk the 1st day so they pee tons and really recognize that it's running down their legs. I'd give like 1 fruit snack as a reward or a marshmallow or m & m or something when he goes on the potty. Good luck! You totally have to stay home for a week. We put Kailee in a pullup for nursery at church b/c we didn't want her to have an accident, but would take her before nursery and an hour into it as well. She loved peeing in the big potty. Do a potty dance too when he goes! Try to let it be his decision. But never ask him do you want to go potty cuz he may say no. Say, alright, let's go potty so we can get a fruit snack! or "Do you want to go potty first or can Mommy go potty first." My daughter always wanted to go first. or in a teasing way "Mommy's going to go potty so I can get a fruit snack, wahoo" Kailee would always go running by me and I'd let her beat me to the potty. Good luck!
Congrats on baby #2!! OH, I'd totally keep training now b/c it'd be so much harder with a newborn. He's be having accidents when you're nursing or putting the baby to bed. :)
So, um...I have no idea. But in about a year when I need to potty train Talmage, I'm coming back to this blog post and reading all these incredible comments from your friends. I love you Ash and your little boy is SO cute, even when he's sitting on the potty!
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