Dr's Appointment

Well, I figured I should follow up on the doctors appointment that I had yesterday which brought both good and bad news. Let me start off by mentioning that earlier this week, I was having horrible, very severe cramping for about 2 days and I thought for sure I was miscarrying. Luckily I didnt but the cramping was seriously so bad that I was just doubled over in pain. I told my doctor about my consistent spotting that I've been having since I became pregnant and also about the cramping and he was a little concerned since that is not the norm in pregnancy. He examined me and said that the cervix is closed (which is good and is a sign of no miscarriage for now)and everything seemed fine but he set me up for an ultrasound that day. In the ultrasound I was able to see our little miracle and even got to see and hear the heartbeat! It was so cool to see his little heart fluttering and I cannot even describe the relief I felt that this little baby is alive! After the lady was done with the ultrasound she said that she would be right back and that she needed to talk with the doctor real fast. I didn't think anything was wrong so I was surprised when she came back in to inform me that there is a big sac of blood behind the placenta that is considered a threat to miscarriage. My heart dropped and I almost broke down in tears. Luckily I held my composure and was more shocked than anything. She told me that I have to be put on pelvic rest for two weeks, which is basically like bed rest but I can walk around every 30 min or so for a short amount of time, until I come back in for an ultrasound to see if the blood sac has gotton bigger or recessed into the placenta. She didnt really give me a percentage of how many recess or bust but told me if I start heavily bleeding to rush to the ER and informed me of other signs of miscarriage. I wanted to just stop her right there and let her know I knew perfectly well what the signs of miscarriage were and didnt need to hear them again, but instead I thanked her for her help and she sweetly put her hand on my leg and said "I hope to have better news for you in two weeks. Good luck hun."

I got in the car and called Justin, who is my little marathon traveler and is traveling the world this whole month for business, to tell him what was going on. I couldnt get a hold of him and just went back to my in-laws to pick up Ethan. I wasn't very emotional telling them the news and tried to remain positive but last night when I got home and put Ethan to bed, I just finally broke down and cried. I wanted Justin to just be there with me and be my shoulder to cry on but had to use the pillow instead. Bless his heart, I know he wishes he was with me just as much as I do. I guess I have tried to be strong through these miscarriages and months of dissapointment and it all caught up with me last night. I was so excited to see that little heart beating and was so devastated to learn that it might not be beating for too much longer if that blood sac bursts. I had a nice long talk with Heavenly Father last night and felt comforted and I know that whatever happens is in His hands and I am willing to follow His plan for me. I just sure hope that His plan involves the blood sac dissolving into the placenta and that we can have this little miracle baby.

So for the next few weeks I will be staying at my in laws home so I can have help with Ethan and be surrounded by lots of people to talk to :) Im so grateful that we are living close to family who are more than willing to help us out. We are praying that everything will work out fine and that that little heart just keeps beating. I'll be sure to keep everyone updated on here as well. Thank you for your support and prayers. In those quiet moments, I can really feel the power of others prayers for us- I cant thank you enough.