The Last 12 Weeks....

For all of you moms out there who love to read pregnancy stories (like I do!), here is the low down on the last 3 months or so of this pregnancy....

Remember how in this post I said that we couldn't try to get pregnant until the end of November after my herbs and such were finished??  Well we didn't try. It just somehow happened. Looking back at the dates, we have NO idea how it happened. My husband has been out of town for like the past 4 months for goodness sakes! Well... it happened and I was a little shocked/confused at first. I was almost frustrated because I had already accepted waiting for a few months to get my body fixed and I was really excited to do so. I guess I felt like being pregnant again, and most likely miscarrying again, was just setting the whole process back that much farther. I had only been on the herbs for about 3 weeks when I realized I was pregnant too. 

So I called Harriett (the herbalist) back up and miracuously there was a last minute cancellation and she could see me a few days later. I went in almost apologetic that I had gotten pregnant and she told me "once those herbs get inside you, they really start working their magic! I'm not surprised!" She switched out a few herbs that were more safe for pregnancy and checked where my hormone levels were. She was surprised to find that in 3 weeks time my hypothalamus went from functioning at 12% to 50%  and everything else was raised as well. She told me that she wouldn't be surprised if i kept the baby since it had jumped so high so quickly. So that was reassuring but I still wasn't going to get my hopes up.

Around week 5 I started feeling pretty cruddy and the nausea just got worse each day. I couldn't eat anything except rice and dry bread. Finally after about 2 weeks of it, I started forcing myself to eat even when nothing sounded or tasted good. Amazingly, I started to feel a little better! (Imagine that! Isn't that what they tell you to do? :) I was still super nauseated and limited as to what I could eat but I felt a little bit better. I was still teaching my Turbo Kick class and would have to run to the bathroom every once in awhile when I thought I was going to throw up, but I never did. 

**Side note: I do not easily throw up. The only thing that can usually make me throw up is food poisoning. Yuck!** 

You may think, Oh how lucky! She never throws up! But I've stood over the toilet to try to make myself throw up to relieve myself of the constant nausea before!! No fun!

Mentally, I pretty much completely detached myself from this baby. Sad huh?? A lot of people think being sick is a good sign (and it usually is) but I felt horrible for my last pregnancy and lost the baby at almost 12 weeks so it was hard for me to get my hopes up because of that. I felt like I fell kinda hard (emotionally) my last miscarriage because I got my hopes up so much and I just didn't want to hurt like that again if something were to go wrong this time around. 

So the weeks went on and I still remained pregnant. I passed my 8th and 9th week mark where I have lost 2 babies before, my 10 week mark (1 baby) and then finally my 12 week mark.  I had a doctors appt at 12.5 weeks and there is still a strong little heartbeat in there! For some reason though, my feelings and emotions are still on guard. Don't get me wrong, I am SO grateful for this little baby and for everything that comes with the first trimester but.. I don't know. It's kinda hard to explain the non- attachment I feel. I think the more I talk about the baby and discuss names with Justin and such, It'll feel a little bit more real and I can open up my feelings again. I almost feel guilty for not just already feeling an attachment and love for this baby...especially after everything we've been through to get it here! I'm sure I'll come around soon and won't be so guarded. Sorry, I'm just trying to be honest here. Don't judge me :)

On to Frequently Asked Questions:

How am I Feeling?? So much better. I'm still not 100% but I'm getting there. I'm really only nauseated at night time now! Woo hoo!

Cravings?? Heavens no, I am just barely starting to feel ok with eating something besides bread and tortillas :)

Belly Showing?? I don't think so...not yet. I can tell that the "thickening" stage is beginning  and I do believe that I'll show a little faster this time around. It's my 7th pregnancy... I'm bound to show faster!! 

Gender Predictions?? I am guessing girl. I was never sick with Ethan and this one has parralled Ellie's pretty well. I think a little girl next would be perfect. We'll happily take either or though!

What about the herbs??  I am still taking them and I really do believe that they have helped me keep this pregnancy. I felt very strongly that I was inspired to go see Harriett whenever I did, and start on the herbs whenever I did, so it could help me keep this baby. I am so grateful for the divine guidance we had with that.

Whew! Huge kudos if you made it all the way through that post! Well, we really are excited to be adding on another one to our little family! We just hope and pray that everything is smooth sailing from here on out! Justin is so excited that we are expecting another one. It's so cute to see him tell people and get excited when talking about it. We know that this baby obviously has a certain time that he/she was meant to come down to this earth and we are grateful that he/she finally decided to  :)